BOTTOM RESPONSIBILITY: Agency, Accountability, and Risk Literacy in Kink

Live Session Info & Registration

🗓️ September 18th, 17:00 EST
📍Online Class
🔗 The link is shared 24h prior to the class, to the email you register with
🎟️Registration is open until September 16th

All participants receive a handout with class notes.

Pre-requisites & Materials:

– Something to write with and on.
– Honest willingness to have assumptions challenged.
– Basic familiarity with kink dynamics, consent frameworks, and scene negotiation is assumed.

Note: This is not an entry-level class.

About the class:

Content Warnings:
– Direct and intentionally confrontational facilitation style
– Discussion of harm narratives and community accountability
– Discussion of consent violations and the distinction from regret
– Privilege, specifically white femme privilege in kink spaces
– Psychological frameworks applied critically to bottom behavior
– No comfort-centering; emotional challenge is expected and intentional

Bottoming is not passive. Submitting is not a waiver. And treating it that way is hurting people, including you.

Kink culture has a pattern of placing all responsibility on Tops while treating bottoms as if they have no agency in what happens to them. This creates a dynamic where bottoms stop advocating for themselves, outsource their safety to someone else, and then have no framework for their own role when something goes wrong. An educated bottom is significantly harder to exploit and significantly less likely to contribute to harm they didn’t intend to cause.

This class is not a validation space. It is designed for bottoms who are willing to be honest about their own patterns and accountable for their part in the dynamics they enter.

IN THIS CLASS YOU WILL:

•  Understand learned helplessness in kink; the psychological pattern that makes bottoms hand over more accountability than they should
•  Learn about authority bias; why we defer to people in the Top role even when our gut says otherwise
•  Understand the actual difference between regret and consent violation and why conflating them damages everyone
•  Learn how harm narratives get distorted when bottoms leave their own decision-making out of the story
•  Build real risk literacy; what it means to understand what you’re agreeing to before you agree to it
•  Examine racial privilege specifically in how kink harm narratives get told and believed

The most protected bottom in any room is an informed one. Come get informed.

About Your Facilitator:

Sarai311 (any/all) is a BIPOC kink educator, poet, and event organizer with a decade of experience across classroom and community learning spaces. She brings eight years of formal teaching and three years of active kink engagement into her work, blending curriculum design, emotionally grounded facilitation, and embodied pedagogy. A doctoral candidate, her research on identity development and culturally relevant pedagogy directly informs her kink education practice.

Within the kink community, she has served as a Dungeon Monitor, demo bottom, and board member for Whippersnappers TNG, and is the founder and lead organizer of BIPOC at Frolicon. She presents across the Southeast at events including Frolicon, Southeast Leatherfest, and Dark Odyssey, and has been published thrice in Black Leather in Color Magazine. Sarai311 is also the author of ‘What We Could Never Be’ and ‘Unholy Attachments’, and is known for creating spaces where kink, identity, and intentional self-exploration can safely coexist.

Note: All ticket bookings are final and non-refundable. 60% of proceeds go to our presenters.